The glory of their children
Proverbs 17.6b
I'm always intrigued the hallmark greeting card style of out of context biblical verses. So when my Fathers’ Day gift made by my daughter at school had Prov 17.6b on the reverse, "fathers are the glory of their children ", my interest was indeed piqued.1 What on earth does that really mean?
I find proverbs a not-naturally easy book. It's often stock, conventional wisdom often grates against my perceptions of values. It's also not as easy as it seems to (i) interpret the Hebrew of Proverbs (ii) understand what on earth they are getting at!
This is far from my area of expertise, but I am able to read a commentary or two. That's within my skill suite, so here are some comments and reflections on Proverbs 16:31-17:6
Here's Bruce Walkte's translation:
31 Gray hair is a splendid crown;
it is found in the way of righteousness.
32 Better to be a patient person than a mighty hero,
even one who rules over his spirit than one who captures a city.
33 Into the bosom the lot is hurled;
and from the Lord [come] all its decisions.
17:1 Better a dry piece of bread with peace and quiet
than a house full of sacrifices with strife.
2 A prudent slave rules over a shameful son,
and receives the inheritance in the midst of the brothers.
3 The crucible is for silver, and the furnace for gold,
but the one who tests hearts is the Lord.
4 One who pays attention to a malevolent lip is an evildoer,
one who listens to a destructive tongue is a liar.
5 The one who mocks the poor person reproaches his Maker,
the one who rejoices over calamity will not escape punishment.
6 The [splendid] crown of the aged is children’s children,
and the glorious [crown] of children is their fathers.2
The section is framed in v31 and v6, and importantly views gray hair as a 'splendid crown', i.e. a crown that wins social esteem, in relation to a life of righteousness. That is, living in right relations to others. A crown adds splendour, as an adornment, and indicates something of the respect that the elderly deserve, but this is not an iron-clad guarantee - sometimes the righteous die young, sometimes the wicked live into old age. But old age achieved through righteousness, this is a basis for social esteem.
What is the foundation of righteousness? v32 suggests that it is the ability to conquer oneself, rather than the external world. The person who can learn to tame themselves, especially to practice forbearance, patience, and forgiveness, rather than the one who physically conquers enemies, is the more to be praised. To capture a city, even single-handedly, is like nothing to the person who learns to rule their heart (and their tongue).
But a person's destiny is not solely determined by their self-mastery. "The lot", the seeming random vicissitudes of life, are determined by the Lord. In my view this probably includes both all of life's chances, as well as the specific reference to lot-casting in the OT. Its outcomes are ultimately the Lord's choices. I find intriguing Waltke's almost throw-away comment that this may warrant the use of random selection for the draft, or candidates for organ transplants.
As in v32, so in 17:1, it is better to have a very plain, frugal meal (lacking even the most basic of seasonings; imagine dry bread with not even salt or butter to season it), if that comes with concord and peacefulness, than to enjoy life in a religious and wealthy family, marred and marked by discord. Remember, these verses in context are painting out (some of) a picture of righteous living.
v2 depicts a situation not really provided for in the OT Law, but possible and certainly imaginable. A slave raised to exalted to high position by their prudence (see the self-mastery of the previous verses) displacing the natural born sons in the inheritance at a master's death. It is virtue, not status, birth, custom, and rights, that matters most.
Why and how so is further explored and explained in v3. The crucible that both tests and even refines our character, to be the people we ought to be, is the Lord's crucible. We are soberly warned that God tests our hearts, and thus also encouraged that our hearts be exposed, and led into greater righteousness.
vv4-5 discuss two types of "malevolent communicators": the liar, whose speech destroys relationships between people, and the derider/mocker. To take the latter first, the mocker here arrogantly despises the poor, and treats their need with contempt. How true this rings even today, at the many rich who despise the poor in their poverty. Proverbs will have nothing of this - to do so is to show contempt to the image of God, and so to God whose image the person bears. It is an offence against God, and he will punish. As to the former, it is not only the liar, but the one who listens to lies, entertains and welcomes such speak, who is a liar and a destroyer of community.
And so we return in v6 to gray hair. But now, notice the two halves of the verse. Imagine, if you will, grandparents who live righteously, and their children and children's children. The typical 3-generations in view in the OT. And we need to keep here there righteousness from 16:31. Godly children and grandchildren bring glory to their elders, and godly elders to their children, as a mark of weight, 'glory'. But, as Waltke points out, the New Testament reconfigures some of these expectations. Christ has no biological children, but becomes father of many. We become children of God, and brothers and sisters of Christ and each other, as the church reproduces spiritually, not biologically.
In this reading of proverbs, we begin to move away from the Hallmarkification of the verse, to a more profound understanding. Righteousness brings glory to both an individual, through their right living in relation to others in society, and in doing so extends ‘glory’, social weight and influence, to their family above and below them. Old age brings with it similar weight and influence, in relation to wise and righteous living.
Yes, it’s on the first Sunday of September in Australia.
Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 15–31, The New International Commentary on the Old Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2005), 34–35.